Saturday, January 19, 2008

Good children

We have returned to PDX for the weekend to be good children.

My mom had some foot surgery Thursday and work wouldn't allow me to be here for the immediate post-surgery assistance (her wonderful friends-who-are-like-family were more than happy to cover) so I am here now, fetching, cooking, cleaning and generally being helpful.

Sara is at her folks house also being helpful by pruning the 5 fruit trees in her parents yard.

My mom and I have a special relationship...I have taken care of her as long as I can remember...not because she needed it, but because I was born a pragmatic, self-sufficient, little worrier. This has generally irritated her from the beginning.

She still doesn't need me to take care of her and won't need me for a while longer (knock on wood).

There have been a few times in our lives when she needed to know I was here for her...Like now and when we did Chemo together during her breast cancer battle (by together I mean, she endured it and I took a week off from grad school every 6 weeks to fetch, cook, clean up and generally be helpful...we swore a lot, mostly at the cancer).

Tonight she fell asleep on the couch and when I looked over... I saw my grandfathers forehead, gray hair, and age spots. And I realized I am in the part of life from which I can see that my mother will need me to take care of her in this future. I think it will coincide exactly with moment I learn to let go of trying to take care of her.

Hopefully, we will at least have a few blissful moments where I am not worrying about her and she isn't telling me to "lighten up", but I doubt it.

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