We have returned to PDX for the weekend to be good children.
My mom had some foot surgery Thursday and work wouldn't allow me to be here for the immediate post-surgery assistance (her wonderful friends-who-are-like-family were more than happy to cover) so I am here now, fetching, cooking, cleaning and generally being helpful.
Sara is at her folks house also being helpful by pruning the 5 fruit trees in her parents yard.
My mom and I have a special relationship...I have taken care of her as long as I can remember...not because she needed it, but because I was born a pragmatic, self-sufficient, little worrier. This has generally irritated her from the beginning.
She still doesn't need me to take care of her and won't need me for a while longer (knock on wood).
There have been a few times in our lives when she needed to know I was here for her...Like now and when we did Chemo together during her breast cancer battle (by together I mean, she endured it and I took a week off from grad school every 6 weeks to fetch, cook, clean up and generally be helpful...we swore a lot, mostly at the cancer).
Tonight she fell asleep on the couch and when I looked over... I saw my grandfathers forehead, gray hair, and age spots. And I realized I am in the part of life from which I can see that my mother will need me to take care of her in this future. I think it will coincide exactly with moment I learn to let go of trying to take care of her.
Hopefully, we will at least have a few blissful moments where I am not worrying about her and she isn't telling me to "lighten up", but I doubt it.